Lately I’ve been grappling with the whole idea of evangelism. The truth is I keep running into people who are down right adverserial when it comes to discussions about church or Christianity or even Jesus and that has made me more reluctant. As a matter of fact recently when I mention my devotion to Christ I keep getting interrupted by someone mentioning the latest self help book they read or better yet the most recent spiritual journey by someone who dropped out of their life for a year and traveled the globe writing an account of their spiritual escapades.
I think because I’m in ministry and work as the Director of Ministry and worship leader in a NY church people expect me to pounce on them and overload them with Christian talk. A language I just don’t speak. Nonetheless, I seem to encounter people that tell me exactly what they think I think as a Christian – before I even begin to talk about Jesus in my life.
Often the conversation becomes a rhetorical categorization of what Christians are, talk like and how they act rather than an expression of my experience as a follower of Christ.
I want to yell, “Would you be quite and listen while I tell you we are not all like that.” But I don’t. I control myself because the last thing I want to do is come off like the Christian bullies that some folks expect me to be.
I struggle with this because Jesus said not to deny him and because I just can not do ministry without saying who I do it for? What kind of church are we if we don’t proudly proclaim our discipleship to Christ? What kind of Christian am I?
Paul says if you are looking for a way to measure how good you’re doing as a church and a Christian get out your resume of how many people have seen Christ through you and how many people have come to believe because you believe.
The more I give in to this bashful nature of mine the less of a disciple I am.
