My mother has this obsession with bags. Not just nice bags any bags. She’s been saving bags my whole life. She would fold them into tiny little squares and shove them in her pantry between some box and the wall. waiting for when she needed one. The bags didn’t have to be particularly pretty or even study. They were all used, and sometimes marked up, crinkled, water marked, food stained, it doesn’t matter.. You know why it didn’t matter what her bags looks like. Because “You never know when you need one.” That’s what she would say.
It seems that my mother always needs one of her bags, primarily because she can’t bear to send me home after a visit without giving me something to go home with. I say this in complete love and affection – It’s quite sweet and a little weird.
You see the things she chooses to give me as I leave her home can sometimes be a little odd, odd because they are not particularly valuable. It not like I can’t go to the corner convenience store and get those things myself – like a bag of barbeque potato chips or one can of Diet Coke.
Sometime the bag is so full of things that I don’t even get to look through it all the way to see what ‘s in there. There are times I’ve left it overnight. I know I shouldn’t have. There was those days I woke up with melted ice cream sandwiches on my counter. Who know mom would pack ice cream sandwiches in her bag. It’s not like I asked for them. But I am thankful. I understand she loves me, and my family and that’s why she bags us.
One day while visiting my mom she caught me as I was leaving her house. “Pam, I have something for you”. I knew it was a bag and don’t you know my mom came out of the kitchen with this crumbled up brown paper bag. This particular bag looked like it had been through the mill. It had wrinkles down both sides and was frayed at the top and ripped at the beginning of a crease where it had been folded for a very long time.
“Ok, ok I said taking the bag and kissing her on the cheek” I didn’t even wonder what was in it. It sat in my kitchen overnight and eventually the next day I thought to empty it. Inside with the usually bag items, half of a frozen pork roast, because she though we might need one, a coffee scooper because she had two and a small box and an envelope.
The note read, “I made my original old warn out wedding ring into earrings for you.” And inside the box were two diamond earrings.
I was taken back that something so beautiful and thoughtful could be hiding in a package so damaged. I thought of my mom and how she slid it in there without mentioning i. Why in the world would she put two beautiful diamond earrings in a food stained bag next to half a frozen pork roast.
It reminded me of what Paul says to the church in Corinth. He tells them that we carry God’s message of love in clay jars, imperfect and easily broken.
Yes, we are imperfect vessels but we can be just sturdy enough to carry that message.
August 10, 2009 at 1:55 am
Love this Pam. Would love to post on Beliefnet. Let me know.
August 10, 2009 at 2:46 am
Thanks Joan. That would be great!
August 11, 2009 at 6:17 pm
Thank you, Pam. I read this post through Joan’s “Flirting with faith” blog and loved it.
Whenever you feel like a retreat from your city life, come and visit us at the monastery. We’ve got a pretty spot by the Hudson (2 hours North of NYC).
Peace,
Br. Bernard Delcourt, OHC
http://www.holycrossmonastery.com
August 12, 2009 at 2:17 am
What a lovely offer. My husband is a pastor also (Methodist tradition) We might just take you up on that sometime.
August 11, 2009 at 6:31 pm
Carl actually told me this story when he picked me up from work on Sunday evening. “And Pam told this story about her mom” and I thought that would be it and then he TOLD ME THE STORY! Some people come off as too sentimental, others not enough. Your mother got it just right. And so did you w/ your telling.
September 1, 2009 at 5:52 pm
O you brought tears to my eye. My grandma used to give us paper grocery bags filled with stuff at x-mas time. she couldn’t afford to buy us any presents but she would go thru her keepsakes and divid them up. like you sometimes we got really useful/cool stuff sometimes it was odd things. (ie old cards with pretty pics on or her old sunday school lessons) But it was alwys intresting to look thru your bag.
My mother in law had the same habit as your mom. perhaps, as some have suggested, it ceoms from being married during the depression. whatever the reason you could never go to my mother in laws house without being feed, no matter the time of day. even if it was just tea. You could never leave without a bag of stuff OR very occassionally (if she simply didn’t have anything in the house) a 20$.
Both my grandmother and mother in law have been gone for several years now. How i miss them!
But thank you for reminding me fo such fond memories of both of them
Susan
September 2, 2009 at 1:26 am
Susan, glad to hear from you. I”m so glad this story brought back good memories. It’s so funny and really quite beautiful how when we tell stories we become aware of how much we all have in common. Thanks for your comment.
Pam
September 2, 2009 at 12:24 am
Special thanks to my special sil, who sent me a link to this lovely essay. It SO reminds me of my mother.
Thank you. This touched my heart.
Andrea
September 2, 2009 at 1:29 am
Andrea, thank you so much for taking the time to comment here. I’m glad my story touched you.