One evening about 10 years ago, I was at a wedding. I didn’t know the family that well and was seated at a table with people I didn’t know either. Sometimes that can be a disaster but this time it was actually a lot of fun. I found myself with two women, Ella and Grace who were very friendly. I would say they both seemed to have been in their 70’s. They were best friends and you could tell. They finished each other’s sentences and looked at each other knowingly when the band played a certain song like the same memory had come to both of them.
I found myself asking them a lot of questions about where they grew up and their friendship in particular. They told me how they met when they were very young and how they enjoyed playing at each other’s houses even though their families were very different. Elle was the daughter of Italian immigrants and Grace’s family was German. They recalled discovering different types of foods and each others homes, skipping school to see Frank Sinatra and double dating.
As the conversation proceeded they started to tell me a story in which one of them hurt the other very badly and they didn’t talk for 20 years. They were both in their early 20s at the time and both planning to be married. Ella had set her date and was happily making her wedding plans that included Grace as her Maid of Honor. Everything was going on nicely until Grace chose the day for her wedding. She picked the Weekend before Elle’s, which meant she would be on her Honeymoon and unavailable to participate in Elle’s wedding. Elle was devastated. She told Grace she would not be in her wedding either. Feeling hurt and rejected Elle did not call Grace again and Grace feeling misunderstood and hurt herself knew her call wouldn’t be wanted. That began 20 years of avoiding each other. They each thought the relationship would never be the same.
Elle said, “After time went by I wasn’t even mad anymore, we had just become the two friends that weren’t talking”. They talked about how much they missed of each other’s lives. Grace told me, “How stupid that we missed the births of each others children.”
I asked how did you end up friends again? If you saw them that night you would never belief they had ever been separated. Together they told me about how they ran into each other at a restaurant. A mutual friend was there, saw them and quickly grabbed them each and said, “Now – in the bathroom!” They told me they cried and and talked and laughed. And cried and talked and laughed. Elle giggled, “When we were done crying we each put fake beauty marks in the same spot on our faces to see if our husbands would notice when we returned to our table. Our husbands thought we were crazy! Just like they used too. It was like nothing had changed.
May 12, 2009
April 17, 2009
Like a few hundred million people I had the pleasure of listening to Susan Boyle via Youtube when my husband sent me the link yesterday. For days now I keep hearing her name repeated on TV, over my facebook and in personal conversations and when I do I find myself searching out that e-mail and re-clicking the link to listen again.
It’s moments like this that flood my mind with so many thoughts that I don’t know if I can write a simple post about it. Yes, the striking thing in the video is the initial response of the audience. It strongly confirms the quick judgment of our society. This media imposed belief that somehow what you look like has anything to do with what you are capable of.
After being hit in the head with that first impression, I am left with a lot more to think about when I watch this. I am completely thrilled that the audience quickly understood what they were witnessing. I think as a society we are handed images all the time and told that they are desirable whether they truly are or not. But this day the crowded room acknowledged authenticity over marketing.
There are people who find themselves singing for the masses who are packaged products of an entertainment industry based on good looks and profitability and then there are the Susan Boyles of the world who have no other choice but to sing. They sing because they were made to sing. They sing because they know what they have to offer more than we do. God endowed her and others with gifts without concern over our imposed marketing strategies. Thank God that when people have the courage to defy the odds, we still respond. I hope the know-it-all marketers and corporate movers and shakers have the courage to listen, really listen to Susan and her gleeful audience.
This clip is a hopeful message for me. It means we are not as dulled to real beauty as I thought. In a world of heavily marketing overly processed people, places and things we still cheer at what is authentic and natural and truly beautiful.
April 10, 2009
I was within earshot of my daughters having a conversation about a horror movie one of them went to see last weekend. She was sitting at the kitchen table dressed in her usual attire, sort of a cross between an 80”s punk rock star and a 60’s radical peace activist, if you can image that. Excited, she methodically went through every plot point of the movie that kept her from sleeping the night before.
“First”, she says, “there’s this girl that sees something that never should have happened and feeling betrayed she decided to kill the person responsible. She unfortunately kills the wrong person. That’s when it gets really good because all sorts of creepy weirdness starts. She gets all paranoid and thinks someone is trying to kill her, she thinks she sees people that aren’t there and she ends up killing her really good friend because he gets close to figuring it all out. It really makes me wonder if you can confuse what is real and what’s not and who’s your friend and who’s not. I just can’t stop thinking about it.”
My other daughter listened intently as she fussed with her usual attire, a mud stained soccer uniform adorned with athletic tape, under wrap and shin guards. I could see the puzzled look on her face as she tried to put all the plot points in some kind of rational formation in her head.
While rolling up her socks she looks up at daughter number 1 and says, “See, that is precisely why I stick to G-rated movies. There’s a decision to make. The main character spends an hour and a half thinking about it and then figures out that she should just follow her heart. The End. ”
I can’t believe these two girls come from the same gene pool.
March 30, 2009
In light of our countries economic crisis, the failing health of our worlds ecosystems and world economy the women of Vision thought it would be a good idea to look at our place as Christian people in this world that seems to be wobbling at the moment, for this years retreat. We talked about our relationship with many different issues, our personal finances, the planet’s natural resources and our responsibility toward people and animals. I thought we should just hit this topic head on because many Christian traditions avoid the topic of people as caretakers to the world and it’s resources by calling any reference to it hippyish or new age tree-hugging. So this weekend we will take a look at how as Christians we’re doing in these matters and maybe offer some information as well as tips on how we can do better.
But first incase anyone is feeling like this maybe turn into a “keeping up with the Greens” seminar… in a moment of full self-disclosure I will start this weekend by saying, “My name is Pam and last week I sent my children to school with sandwiches packed in plastic jip-locked bags”. I first heard that using convenient zip lock bags everyday for sandwiches was not good for the environment by a very cool teacher at a nature based pre-school. The thought NEVER crossed my mind. Still, I still use them. I know it’s wrong. I should have packed their lunch in reusable containers but this was SO much easier and I have completely bought into the “easy and quick” philosophy our modern society. So let me put your minds at ease and tell you that I have discovered a whole new meaning to the words, “It’s not easy being green”.
It’s also not easy to be financially responsible sometimes I don’t even balance my checkbook.
And it’s not easy worrying about people whose hard work in countries with unacceptable labor practices make it possible to fill our houses with stuff. As a matter of fact that is why I bought a really cheap kitchen appliance from a superstore made in God-knows where and it never worked right. Now, I can’t return it because I also am one of those people that don’t save receipts. Besides, I’ve already used it. I’ll probably just throw it away after having it only 2 weeks. And my last confession, I seriously have not given an ounce of thought to where this piece of useless junk will end up once it leaves my garbage can. Leading me back to my first statement that “it’s not easy being green.”
These issues that I stated up front are not easily fixed and are certainly very interconnected. You may be wondering what in the world does finances and ecology and work ethics really have in common. They all seem like very different issuers but they’re not. They are very much interconnected which makes them not easy to fix. Some people may make it sound easy, if you want to be green – just recycle. If you feel that you are always financially strapped, start pinching pennies. But I don’t think that‘s the answer. I think as Christians we need to take a more holistic look at the world around us and make deep committed changes in how we do life. We need to honestly ask ourselves, “who do we think we are in the scheme of things, and what do we have the right to do in our world.” Let’s face it, the world has changed. It’s like we’re Dorothy and we just woke up and we are not in Kansas any more and I don’t think that version of Oz we saw in our skit early is what God had in mind.
While the world economy, global warming and climate change are scientific and economic issues, they are also deeply theological debates. We must not forget that as Christians this is a faith issue. From the first pages of the Bible we are introduced to our God, who creates the world and everything in it. We are told that it is created with order and interconnectedness. An ecological system in which everything has it’s place and it’s service to the world. The Sun is given dominance over the day and the moon controls the night. It is the story of how our universe evolved into some hundred billion galaxies of which our Milky Way is just one. Theologian Sallie McFague describes our creation story as “a story that tells us that everything that exists from distant galaxies to the tiniest fragment of life has a common beginning and a common history and at some level and in a remote or intimate way, everything is related to everything else”.
So what does our creation story tell us about us? Where is our place in the world? I think much of the Christian community has mischaracterized our relationship in creation with God’s other creations. I think many Christians have looked at the verse where God says that he gives us what we need as permission to do whatever we want. All this has been given to us right? That means it’s ours, right? Wrong
For many years people have argued over the word Dominance in this story. “The Sun is given dominance over the day”. It sure is when the sun comes up the day begins and when it goes down the day ends. Does that mean that humans are given dominance over creation?
In the reading of Genesis we heard a little earlier we don’t see the word dominance. As a matter of fact this translation by Robert Altar from the original Hebrew say’s “hold sway”. The word used in Hebrew in this section is different from the word which means dominance as we usually hear. “Radah” is a much gentler term. It means “influence”. When you have influence over something or someone it means that your actions have consequences. Even those actions that you see as insignificant have an effect on that with which you have influence over. The best way to explain this concept is as a parent. A parent tells their child to do things, a parent may make rules and regulations in which the child needs to adhere but I believe a parents real influcence over a child is that the child is exposed to what the parent chooses to do. How they talk? How they spend their free time? Who they spend time with? All those things influence the child without the parent really intending to and I think our influence over the planet is the same.
I would also contend that what we influence also has influence over us. “Influence” is much more relational and reciprocal than dominance. Influence portrays an interdependence and the interdependence calls us to look at ourselves perhaps from the Earth up and not from the sky down. We humans were not plopped here as almost devine mandated rulers over a creation that we keep an arms length away from. We were created from a common story and formed from the muck and mire of God’s good creation itself.
For some people that’s a scary proposition. Some think it compromises our importance as God-like rulers over this land of ours but I don’t think so. I’m comfortable with that place because if I’m created in the image of God and my existence rose out of the dirt and grim and majestic beauty of what God made and considers good, well than the presence of God is in all of this, isn’t it? The good news of all of this is that we belong. We are but one of the parts of God’s ever evolving story of creation. Each part valuable in and of itself. Each part having it’s place. But this belonging deserve a grateful response. We need to start thinking holistically about our world, and not just in terms of the well-being of human beings. We can not just sit around and watch rainforest disappear and ice caps melt. Our concern for the world around us should be our response of awe and appreciation to a God who created our species as the one with the conscious and ability to see the vast, old , rich , diverse creation of God’s and understand from where we came.
March 2, 2009
This is a poem I used in worship along with images of sandcastles. That week we were discussing the fleeting nature of all those things we spend way too much time on. You know, our day to day life. Things we think are important at the time and end up being just a distraction from the real core, essence of who we are. How easily can you watch those thing slip way? Jesus said we must lose our lives to gain life. A scary proposition if we’re being honest, right?
Sand – just like a play thing
through fingers slipping
warm to touch
moments molded into something more
..and began to be.
formed of water of the Sea
magnificent - these mounds and valleys
a life time of experience
growing bigger and bigger
over time
packing sand
adding water
molding shapes
stacking blocks
built by one but attracting many
still temporary in nature
…and we know the tide does turn
and that which contributed to its creation
will destroy it in the end.
but I stand upon this solid rock
And watch it slip away
February 27, 2009
The other day i heard someone say they couldn’t find the “perfect” church. How funny I thought. How could one church suit so many different people? It just can’t. Or can it. I do believe a church can offer a wide breath of experience that touches those in it in different ways and at different times. It is not important that one song touch everyone in the same way at the same time, is it? This idea of the “perfect” church makes me cringe a bit. It’s not like choosing your favorite restaurant right? ”Let’s see, the food is good but the service stinks.” I think we should at least all agree that there will be times a good church will allow God to move in ways that perhaps don’t resinate with all of it’s members. That’s where patience comes in. As Christians we are called to worship together – to celebrate our differences, to encourage others to be their authentic selves and most of all to move out of the way when God is presenting Godself to someone else on Sunday morning.
February 25, 2009
Over the past few weeks I’ve had several conversations with people outside my church, or any church for that matter, and they me told how they pursue their faith on their own having no relationship with a church. I’m always thrilled to hear accounts of other people’s spiritual journeys so I listened intently. We talked at length about the books they read, the music they listen to, the spiritual leaders that inspire them. They explained that the sum of all these things makes the antiquated idea of attending a church unimportant in their lives.
In listening to these people I found myself joyful in their personal discovery. I am happy to hear that people are looking for God in the world. Why would God not be visible in the creation God made? Of course God is working through the authors of books, movies and most definitely in nature but at the same time, I am perplexed that people searching to discover God don’t want to be in church.
I started to reexamine why I do things the way I do. Why did a church community become important me? Why is it that corporate worship was so important in my life that I’ve rarely missed a Sunday morning at church since the day I made a commitment to be a Christian? I can tell you it was not out of obligation. I gave up the “have to” a long time ago. It is not because I was good, as Jesus has pointed out, “No one is good but the father”. I went to church as a response to the things God has given me, shown me, and taught me. Church for me became a place in which I could give my personhood over to the spirit of God. And I could encounter people who came to find that same spirit. I went because I thought that perhaps I’d see someone new who was looking to connect with God and in some small way I could be part of that process. I went to church because my personal journey led me to a place where I wanted and needed to celebrate.
Perhaps the most important discovery was that Sunday morning became a constant in my life and in the life of my family. Other things in my life like work, family issues, money concerns, health problems came and went. Things were good some weeks and not so good on others. All these things in my life went up and down, fluctuating and unpredictable but through it all Sunday was always coming. Sunday morning for me made tangible the reality that there is something beyond all that other stuff and it is something to celebrate. It is God and God is constant, as constant as Sunday mornings.
